Poem from the IF Gathering 2014

Esther Generation (From IF:Gathering)

 

They say you should travel light

But most of our lives we carry it all on our backs

These days it isn’t our arms that stay weighed down

It’s our minds

We wake up in a panic

Its our thoughts that hyperventilate for fear

Of making mistakes.

 

For fear of failing or succeeding

Or fear that we’ll never move past our past

That we’ll be exactly who they said we’d be

That we’ll never be more than what was done to us

That we will continue to be taken advantage of

That we should accept shame as a companion to carry with us

That we should let the lies befriend us

 

The lies

started in a garden

Spoken slyly by a slithering serpent with his syrupy sweet: “Did God really say?”

 

And we’ve be doubting ever since

 

Allowing an unwelcome guest to make himself at home in our lives, minds, gardens

Keep us bound with slithering fear

that we are damaged goods

 

Never going to be good enough

Not enough brains, not enough brawn

Not enough guts to take anything on.

 

But there is no time for being soft or weak

That at all times we have to be tough

That We’ll never be perfect that

We’ll never be worth it

That we’ll never be enough

And sometimes we feel God calling us, nudging us

Trying to show us

 

but somehow we stay trapped

Behind walls of unbelief and unforgiveness

Our arm’s a weary rope caught in a vicious tension

Tug of war between our fear and our calling

Between worry and peace

Comfort and inconvenience

Comparing ourselves to each other

While battling low self esteem

 

Do we do what’s practical?

Or follow our dreams?

Do we take care of ourselves?

Or meet others people’s needs?

Should we fight?

Should we please?

 

Should we hide from who we are to put other people at ease?

 

And then the lies begin to echo and amplify

Loser

Time abuser

Mess producer

Who needs you?

She’s so much better

Just look at her

You actually thought that was a good idea?

 

Open your mouth and they’ll laugh long enough that you’ll shut your mouth

You aren’t smart enough

You aren’t good enough

You aren’t sharp enough

 

Who do you think you are?

 

Fear is our chain and it’s rattling us hard

It’s the poison that deadens our hearts

 

Fear of failing

Fear of flailing

Fear of the arrows

Fear of the way named narrow

Fear of the shear rock in front of you that begs you sweat and climb

Climb out of that drug dead comforting pit they call status quo

And break right up through the earth and into the life you were born for

 

In the now of your life while there is still time and hunger in your veins

Turn around and shake off that snake

Because it’s head’s been crushed, no pulverized

So let go of the lie.

 

Sometimes we imagine that God’s voice is a disappointed hard lined teacher

Who is waiting to whack our knuckles with a ruler for any imperfections

 

But that isn’t God’s voice at all

 

That isn’t Gods heart at all

 

He speaks tenderly

He doesn’t need to raise his voice

He speaks as if He’s right next to us

 

Because He’s right next to us

 

Because He goes before us

 

Because His spirit lives inside us

 

He starts with love

And not because He is a hopeless romantic

But mostly because

 

He is ALL LOVE and HOPE and SECOND CHANCES

 

Let go of the fanged lie and bind the wound with dressings of Truth that will heal your bloodied soul

Take that sharp edge of His Word and hack that snake creeping up the back your neck

The words

The only life hack that will hack off the lie of the snake and make your life whole

 

We fear that the place we think God’s love will run out or dry up

 

We fear that place where we think God’s love will run out, dry up, fall of the edge

 

And we’ll be left dangling beyond its reach

 

We fear that somewhere God’s love ends

 

But His love never runs out

 

His steadfast love surpasses suburbia

Canvases from skyscrapers to street corners from porch to stoop

 

His love is looking for you.

 

Who would you be?

What would you do?

 

If you weren’t afraid

 

Could be that you’ve always wanted to come up through the ground

in some desolate place that needed a tree

To bear some fruit for someone with their tongue stuck to the dry roof  

of their parched mouth

To be a limb that held some baby abandoned

To be a limb that someone could used to swing over the fence and free

 

We were made from dust

A bit of earth kissed by heaven

made to be groundbreakers

And peacemakers

And freedom shakers

 

So you can take your glossy Vogue covers and use them for washing windows

Because we’ve always thought the most beautiful women have dirt under their fingernails

And could shake a bit of the very earth out of their warn and pioneering shoes

 

And lets redefine comfort zone because wherever He takes you

You are with the comforter

Wherever He calls you

You are always in his comfort zone

 

So live all your present moments in His presence

To keep company with Christ

To get in on the best

 

There’s a whole Esther generation right here and now and it is us.

 

Who come broken

Who are done being defeated by fear and worry and stress

Because it advertises the unreliability of God

 

Who want hard and Holy things because we want more than hallow lives

A life more than self focus and cell phones

More than iPhones, iTunes and iLove

Who want a life of loving the least, the lonely, and the lost

There is a whole Esther generation rising right here and now and it is us

 

Who are done with easy

Who know that being like Christ and caring for the poor in body and soul

 

There’s a whole Esther generation right here and now and it is us.

 

Who come broken

Who are done being defeated by fear and worry and stress

Because it advertises the unreliability of God

 

Who want hard and Holy things because we want more than hallow lives

A life more than self focus and cell phones

More than iPhones, iTunes and iLove

Who want a life of loving the least, the lonely, and the lost

There is a whole Esther generation rising right here and now and it is us

 

Who are done with easy

Who know that being like Christ and caring for the poor in body and soul

Means more than just caring about easing our consciences

It means living real sacrifice

 

There is a whole Esther generation rising right here and now and it is us

 

Who say now is the time for the faith brave

To sky dive and fly

To remember that we don’t have to strive to be anyone

To stop taking issue with what God made

To accept that our perfect God makes no mistakes

 

There’s a whole Esther generation rising right here and now and it is us

 

To take the weight we carry on our backs

And offer it back to the savior who already carried the weight of the world on his shoulders

Who surrender

Who lay out alabaster hopes and dreams at the feet of our Savior

 

There is a whole Esther generation rising right here and now and it is us

 

Who will no longer look for peace in opinions

But to find our solid ground in the truth

 

There are many tomorrows to face

But today, lets open our hearts and our wounds and our stories

To the great story teller

That our lives may be chiseled by His pen

 

That we may

BELIEVE

and LOVE

and PRAY

and FIGHT

and REST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.theoverwhelmedwoman.com/2014/02/esther-generation-poem-from-ifgathering/